Mindful Confrontation: 9 Steps to Handle Conflict in a Healthy Way Part 3 (by Melissa Eisler)
As we continue our discussion on how to have mindful confrontation, it hit me HARD last week that not all confrontation is external. Oh no no no! We deal with internal confrontation often as well. Sometimes we are focused on what someone said to us, or about us, but do you ever stop and think about the things you have said about yourself? We are taught that life and death is in the power of the tongue. Oh me oh my, what has your tongue been saying about you lately?!? What internal confrontations have you had to hinder you from taking aim at negativity, low self esteem, an unhealthy ego and neglect!
In order to live life on the promise of IMPACT, you have to deal with both external and internal confrontation. If not careful you will self sabotage the very things and people intended to help you! I also believe when you delay in dealing with internal confrontation, it is reflected in your attitude, behavior and how you treat your mind, body and soul! When I battle with internal confrontation I get moody and gravitate to junk food. Hmmmm, I wonder why?!? I say to myself, “what can I do to take my mind of off it, or delay dealing with me?!?” Sure, Netflix and Chex-Mix sounds like a great plan! Next thing I know, I am taking my frustration out on the treadmill, mad as all get out that my hips look wider! However, you soon realize all of those fixes are temporal compared to what you need to face! Don’t make lemonade….TAKE AIM! Shut off Netflix and put aside the Chex-Mix and lets deal with those internal confrontations!
Like I said last week, “Confrontation can be healthy, and not the elephant in the room.”
This week we are dealing with Part Three of our series! We are discussing 9 steps to handle conflict in a healthy way! Don’t be scared…I am on this journey with you! The next time you have to deal with confrontation, be it internal or external, I want you to refer back to this series and say, “I got this!”
Enjoy the blog below:
Preparation will serve you well during the delivery of your confrontation, but what should you do while you’re in the moment? Here are a few things that you can practice and keep in mind during confrontations.
1. Tap into Your Plan
Start by tapping into your plan. You’ve done your homework and know what you want to accomplish, which will create confidence.
2. Take Deep Breaths
Remind yourself to take deep breaths as this will help keep your heart rate and blood pressure down. A reduced heart rate will also slow the spread of adrenaline (your body’s natural reaction to a threat), which can stimulate your physiological reaction and sometimes cloud the mind if left unchecked.
3. Maintain Your Calm
It is likely that the person you confront will have a reaction. Remember, you are not there to force someone to believe something they don’t want to. Their reaction, however, may not be as controlled as yours and may involve a much more emotional response—and it may catch you off guard.
When anxiety builds up or you’re starting to clench your fists, make sure to acknowledge what is happening physically and emotionally in your own body and mind. Once you take notice, you can choose your response, instead of just reacting. Try your best to maintain your calm deep breathing pattern and stay objective. If you notice that you are unable to maintain your calm, go back to step two—take a few more deep breaths. If both of you are unable to maintain a calm, objective state, suggest pausing the conversation and picking it up after you’ve both had a chance to simmer your emotions.
Live Life On The Promise Of Impact! Carenda Deonne – Your #1 Change Agent